Entry for May 28, 2004: SNOB Turnover Dick -> Willie
On a nuclear powered submarine, the dudes who work in the engineering department are known as “Nukes.” Subsequently, those dudes whom have minimal time left until their expected separation date can call themselves “short.” Henceforth, the Shortest Nuke On Board can be transformed into the acronym SNOB. (The military ostensibly converts all terminology into a fucking acronym.)
This particular engine room operator wears a belt buckle specially designed to identify the aforementioned as such. With this designation comes a host of unwritten privileges within their division and the department as a whole. I had no plans or desires to re-enlist so I was, at this time a future SNOB — despite the fact that my time was very “long”.
I would never actually get to be the SNOB but I got close. In fact, Romy was the SNOB when I left the boat, just two dudes ahead of me. Romy and I had reported for duty at Pearl nearly the same week [in the summer of 2003]…
On this particular night, I was beyond stoked to be at my first SNOB turnover. It was at the sweetest party haven on the island — Ka’ena Point. This had become the custom until local police cracked down on parties that resulted in charred couches being left on the beach…
Kaena was one of the most remote parts of the island where we could do whatever the fuck we wanted and could be as obnoxious as possible.
An actual turnover proceeds as follows:
1. The incoming SNOB is required to drink an entire pitcher of beer while the observing attendees scream a fraternity drinking song at the top of their lungs. It was a song that I used to sing in my frat so I already knew the words — not that the chorus was difficult to learn…
Drink Motherfucker, Drink Motherfucker, DRINK!
2. At the bottom of the pitcher of beer is the coveted belt buckle. The newly crowned SNOB will be entrusted with it until it’s time for him to sign his separation orders and turn it over to the incoming SNOB.
3. It was not uncommon and well, downright customary for the expectant SNOB to barf multiple times while trying to down the whole pitcher of suds …and throughout the course of the night.
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