Just like a party, a vacation or any other good thing in life, augment had to end sometime. And just like a party, I felt like puking at the end. When I saw the boat pulling back into the harbor I became physically ill. The only thing that took the sting away was the knowledge that we were immediately going into a stand-down It was like an extra month of augment, except now I had to stand duty once every four days. Also, I had missed an ORSE, which had just taken place the few days before they pulled back in officially. That must have been a killer for the people standing topside during the BSP to get the ORSE team on board. Being that close to PH and not being able to get off the boat.
When the boat finally moored and Dallas and I went down to the engineroom, it seemed like a foreign country. Everything looked so clean and cramped. Our world had expanded once again over the course of the past two months. It felt weird to be back down there. Depressing and awkward. I felt this same phenomenon earlier when I took my leave trip back to the mainland. Being in Hawaii, where everything is cramped, there’s not a whole lot of room between things. Getting back to Minnesota where you have to drive 5 minutes just to get to the bar seemed crazy. Also, in my hometown of Monticello, everyone is white. It felt weird to go to the bar or a restaurant and see all white people.
On May 10th, it was PeeWee’s birthday. Pips and I were drinking. We got over to my place in Kailua and decided to head down to Waikiki to party with PeeWee for his 22nd birthday. I decided that I wasn’t too drunk to drive and told Pips I’d drive my car. To get over to the Pali, it was fastest to take this little shitty, windy road through a swamp called Kapa’a Quarry Road. I was a little drunk and floored my Altima on a straightaway. I went through a very shallow puddle, but that was enough moisture to cause me to lose traction during the slight turns ahead. I got loose and my ass-end went whipping around. I just remember seeing all the trees and foliage fly by my windshield. Pips was sitting in the passenger seat yelling…
“Omigod! Dusty! Dusty! What are you doing!?”
Once the car stopped spinning, I was facing the opposite way. We got out to see if there was any damage, and much to my thanks, there was none. Some guy stopped briefly to see if we needed help, to see if we were okay, etc. He must have heard or seen the incident, because he rolled by as soon as we got out of the car. The only thing wrong was a popped front tire. I drove it back to my house where we grabbed Pips’ Mustang after putting on my doughnut so I could get to duty in the morning. Pips made me drive his Mustang as he was still in no shape to drive, with specific instructions of course to keep it straight and only the pavement. I drove like a scared grandma the whole rest of the night.
That Friday, I woke up to an empty house. At the time I hadn’t bought a computer yet. I finally bought my first laptop later that year. (A Christmas gift to myself, it was an Apple iBook.) But on this day, no computer meant no porn, and I felt like rubbing one out. So, I go into Hokie’s room, it was probably 10 AM and I dropped my shorts and find some spank material. Making sure to close the door, but I didn’t lock it. I had just gotten a good rhythm going and I hear a faint noise coming from the front of the house. I just figured it was the wind and continue with my activities. About 20 seconds later I hear the doorknob turn and realize quickly that someone is entering the room.
“AH! Don’t come in here I’m masturbating! I’m masturbating!”
How I was able to be so articulate in a time of panic like that still baffles me.
Gamecock: “AH! What the hell, man!”
He then turned around and walked out laughing his ass off. I just have one question; Why the fuck was Gamecock walking into Hokie’s room? I mean, it’s obvious what I was doing in there, but was Gamecock going in there to beat off too? The world may never know. It comes with the territory when you have roommates, I guess.
A similar story happened a few months later when I still didn’t have a computer, and once again wanted to whack off. It was again mid-morning and I had just gotten out of bed to a seemingly empty house. This time, though, the plan was to go to Gamecock’s room to take care of business. I was so anxious to get in there and go to town that I was pulling my boxers off as I was walking into his room. As soon as I walked into his room, someone sat up with a start in the bed. It was some random naked chick, she had her chest covered with the bed-sheets and looked twice as startled as I felt.
“Omigod! I’m sorry, I had no idea you were here! Sorry, sorry, sorry…”
Again, I have no idea how I’m so articulate when I get startled. Hokie used to love to startle me because I would always scream at the top of my lungs. It was just a reflex for me to yell something, anything when I get startled. That asshole used to do it all the time just because it made him laugh.
The chick turned out to be PornStar’s Australian girlfriend. That was our first meeting. We were able to laugh about it later on down the road, but what a way to meet someone, right? I ran back to my room and just stood there trying to catch my breath, heart pounding, sweating, halfie gone complete limp. As I was standing there trying to process what had just occurred, how I was going to explain why I was walking half-naked into another guy’s room, etc. something dawned on me. PornStar and Gamecock had mentioned that PornStar and his girlfriend would be staying in Gamecock’s room while he was on leave! It was one of those things you hear and say “Yeah. Okay. Cool.” and then go about your business. I didn’t exactly mark my calendar, so when I woke up that morning I had totally forgotten about it. Not the way I wanted to be reminded.
The rest of May was pretty copacetic, stand-down was otherwise uneventful, just duty and partying.
The party was again about to end however, or was it just about to begin?
Negative Reactivity 
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