Name: The Tizzle — AKA Fish Taco
Address: Seawolf Tower — Room 105, Just follow the roaches
Phone No.: (843) [***]-5000 <– Not Fake!!
Company Name: USN — USS [name redacted]
Address: SSN [hull number redacted], FPO-AP
Phone No.: (808) 4ASS-JAM
Auto Description: A [vagina-repellent] White Jetta
Plate No.: (HI) (FTN [hull number redacted])
Registration No.: Who cares?!
Driver’s License No.: STS-FTC
EMERGENCY MEDICAL INSTRUCTIONS
If you are a hot chick with big thingies, give mouth-to-mouth immediately
Blood Type: B Positive
Allergic To: Work, Drills, Chiefs, FAWC-U, DINQ Study, Coners, Field Day, ORSE
Doctor’s Name: [Redacted]
Office Phone Number: The pay phone outside Dancers [Nightclub]
NOTIFY IN CASE OF ACCIDENT
Someone who can help me, Douche-Bag!
Phone Number: 911